By Tanya Ruckstuhl LICSW, MSW

2012 036

One of my clients recently got their dream job and promptly had a full on freak out.  Another who had been desperately lonely fell in love and started having panic attacks. Another sold their start up for a significant amount of money and was haunted by the burden of managing it. If these folks sound unusual, they are not. Change pretty much sucks. Even good change, wanted change, positive change is weird and leaves us all a little spooked and sleepless.

During times of change and the resulting teeter-totter roller coaster it places us on, I try to remind myself that I am a collection of thirty trillion cells seeking homeostasis. On a cellular level, we crave stability and continuity, but on an intellectual and emotional level, we crave personal growth.

What’s a human to do? Do we capitulate to our biology and remain stagnant for maximum efficiency? (Hint: Oh.Hell.No!) Or do we tell ourselves that change is good AND frightening? (Um… as well as inevitable so you might as well stop fighting it).

When we are in times of change we need to expect discomfort. It helps to name it something friendly like “growing pains” and to greet that pain with all the compassion, faith and patience we would show our best friend if they were going through that very thing.

The Sufi poets Rumi and Hafiz as well as the American poet Mary Oliver wrote some wonderful poems about this aspect of life that can be taken like medicine via a careful reading. Unlike many psycho pharmaceuticals, side effects of poetry-as -medicine include feeling better and becoming a more interesting person.

Journaling is ALWAYS a good idea, but especially when we are in transition because it provides a format to check in with ourselves.

Mindfulness practices like meditation and prayer provide another way to calm the inner turmoil during times of change.

Reaching out for support from a friend, family member, and/or professional support person such as a therapist, doctor, coach or just some kind and available person you happen to connect with can help provide you with time and space to think out loud (particularly crucial for the extroverts) and figure out your next steps.

Any way you find your way back to equilibrium, as long as it doesn’t involve addiction or arrest (because anything that gets you in trouble is not in service to equilibrium), I say make like a certain athletic footwear logo and go for it. (PS: My Jock Sister writes this clarification: “The logo is “Just Do It” you athletically challenged person.” Duly noted.)

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By the way, if you are a therapist in the Seattle area, I will be presenting at the November meeting of the Seattle Counselors Association on social anxiety disorder:

http://www.seattlecounselors.org/membership/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=49&zenid=fpaucpiu0j9dkmm6ohe56q65v4

Hope to see you there!

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