SAD to Glad: Surviving Seasonal Affective Disorder

Tanya Ruckstuhl LICSW

In the gloom of a Seattle January, it’s vital to keep our inner sun ignited. Seasonal Affective Disorder, with its attendant low levels of energy and flattening of enthusiasm, affects many to some degree.

Do you find yourself hitting the snooze button and rolling over? Do you look out the window and scowl?

People in Seattle, we need a whole battalion plan of fun to battle the winter meh’s. What is fun? I’m talking about tiny bits of delight, not the roller coaster of joy. Fun is subjective, subtle and easily attainable.

Visualize Picturing the golden sun in a clear blue sky is uplifting. Imagine a garden in the late spring; recall the delightful riot of blooming peonies and lily-scented hyacinths. Visualization is not just for woo-woos.  I know a clinical social worker working with professional athletes in Chicago. He has injured players picture themselves practicing and playing the game while in their hospital beds. Just by visualizing, these players are able to retain muscle tone and skill level. Think of visualization as the opposite of catastrophic thinking. Instead of using your imagination to freak yourself out, visualization is using your imagination to improve your reality. Conscious use of visualization is effective, free and has no unwanted side effects!

Progress The therapeutic value of a feeling of progress cannot be overstated. Sure we are all aging and the mortality rate is a solid hundred percent, but here you are, alive and able, so do something to make your life even a tiny bit better/prettier/healthier/more interesting. Each winter I repaint bits of the ceiling and walls that are marred. This weekend my boyfriend and I spent half a day making a week’s worth of healthy breakfasts and lunches from scratch to save time and money during the work week. Learning anything is a slam dunk for creating a sense of progress. With the internet, learning has never been so abundantly available. As an example, the DuoLingo app offers free daily language lessons that take just five minutes and allow you to choose from all the major world languages.  I’m currently working on my Spanish and will learn French next. And you don’t need Wi-Fi to learn: Find someone who knows something you don’t and ask them questions.

Travel Depending on destination and level of luxury, travel costs vary from modest to major.  If you can afford it, go to the sun midwinter for a blue sky break. Stay somewhere you can walk outside every day for an hour and get your vitamin D recharged. If that’s too much for your budget, take a weekend getaway with your partner or friends and go somewhere to connect with loved ones and shake up the routine. If you don’t want to commit to a whole weekend, get outside of the city and go east to the mountains for a day of snowshoeing or sledding or skiing.  Take in the beauty of snow blanketing the landscape and feel the refreshing chill of high altitude winter air.

Experience Novelty Anything new and different wakes your brain up and makes you feel alive, which happens to be exactly the opposite of how Seasonal Affective Disorder makes you feel. Think of novelty as the umami flavoring that makes life delicious. Again, we’re talking little bits of newness here, not enter the witness protection program and move across the country. Discover a new show on Netflix or Amazon that makes you laugh, cry or think. Throw a party for a truly ridiculous reason (The Winter Olympics watch party! National Pie Day!). Spend an evening listening to a new album, or internet-stalk your favorite musician and listen to their side bands. Make a paper-mache mask. Take a class that you would have loved as a child.  I’ve taken classes on hip hop dancing, ceramics building, jewelry-making, mosaics, writing, interior decorating, cooking, and painting. Remember adults take recreational classes for fun, not to create an amazingly impressive product, so dump your perfectionism before you go.

Get Physical Attend to the mammalian needs of your body. The basic three are: sleep, exercise and food. It’s easy to have not enough of the first two and then try to make up for feeling lousy with way too much of the third. Make a plan to get to sleep earlier. Block out time on your schedule to get regular, healthy movement. Do a little prep each weekend by making or buying readymade meals for the work week so you can have food that sustains you without inflating you. Drink more water and less everything else liquid. Have sex. Really! Schedule it if need be. Sexual activity increases both self esteem and dopamine.

Finally, consider this general philosophy: Nibble on as many different sources of self care as you can dream up. Consider emotional nutrition akin to dietary needs for variety and enjoyment.

Spooked to Serene

 

By Tanya Ruckstuhl LICSW

I’ve been reading a good deal about the direction our current administration appears to be headed and major concerns folks have regarding its anticipated impact on the environment, immigrants, women, families in poverty, and people of color…basically every vulnerable human and carbon on the planet. The response to all of this unknown worry varies from productive to preposterous.  People have mentioned stockpiling gasoline and bullets ala The Walking Dead.

It’s easy to get caught up in dire predictions. The generalized and pervasive feelings of fear, powerlessness and anger so many of us feel create a breathless anticipation of disaster. Many are now living in a shared cultural trauma, similar to the aftermath of the 9-11 attacks when people around the country were terrified that they would be the next target of terrorist attacks. Friends of mine who work and hang out with immigrants and refugees report that men who used to play soccer are no longer showing up at the park, that families who used to use the library are too frightened to check out books. There is cause for concern. Agreements to slow the pace of environmental destruction are being overturned. Meals on Wheels, a program which allows low income seniors to age in place is at risk of losing all federal funding. PBS, long considered free preschool for the public, is also on the chopping block. (Check out this cheeky call for funding: http://whatstrending.com/video/23876-elmo-gets-fired)

It’s an uncertain time. And yet, we become less effective as humans: less empathic, less articulate, less focused when we fall into fear and hysteria. The human race is a story of struggle and survival. We impressive humans have harnessed fire, created agricultural surplus, made music and art, discovered penicillin, built machines that fly and drive, invented solar power grids and the internet. We are AMAZING creatures. And by many measures—current political administration aside—things are getting easier: we mostly no longer starve to death in developed countries. The national homicide rate has fallen 51% since 1991, per the Bookings Institute. According to the Guttmacher institute, 90% of sexually active women in the United States at risk of unintended pregnancy are using birth control. The Journal of Blacks in Higher Education reports that nearly 4.6 million African Americans now hold college degrees, as compared with just ten thousand in the 1920’s.

Staying calm and reminding our freaked out brains that the world is not about to come to a crashing halt allows us to maintain perspective and make contingency and response plans. And that makes us more effective humans. There is cause for celebration and unity. Even across the political/economic/gender/educational divide we have more in common than separate: we are all trying to make sense of the world around us—even if we come to different conclusions about what it all means and how to respond, we all spring from families who pass along good and bad ideas in the process of raising us, we all love our children and want them to grow up healthy, smart and capable. We all thrill to the sight of spring flowers bursting out of the ground. Almost everyone wants to do the right thing, to be proud of ourselves. None of us have all the answers and none of us are done growing into our best selves.

Working towards change while remaining grounded in connection allows us to better deal with this world we live in. It allows us to be at peace with (or at least grudging acceptance of) the time/energy/money we have available to contribute. Maintaining our sense of calm and connectedness makes better individuals while we try to make the world better for all.

Bean Esteem

English: Christmas variety of Lima Beans (Phaseolus lunatus). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By Tanya Ruckstuhl-Valenti LICSW, MSW

My self esteem is increasing.  I think it’s the homemade lima beans.  I’m doing something really difficult right now.  But it’s getting easier.  For the past week and a half I have been doing a two week seasonal food cleanse, which means eating absolutely no wheat, potatoes, corn, coffee, beef, sugar or dairy.  This diet, recommended by my naturopathic friend, is supposed to help flush out the toxins that accumulate from stress, environmental pollution, convenience foods, and the like.

I have learned a lot from this experience.  For instance, that I have a strong pain tolerance.  For the first three days I had a headache like someone was drilling a pilot hole into my brain.  But I got through it.  I learned that gluten free buns taste like cardboard holding a grudge against humanity. But I ate it anyway.  I discovered the joy of blending raw cashews with dates and fresh mint and ice cubes and almond milk which tastes—honest—as good as ice cream.

I also felt my self esteem rise.  After all I was doing something really hard that was good for me.  I broke free of my addiction to morning coffee.  I felt clear headed and optimistic.  If I can do this difficult thing, what else can I do?

Just like me on my cleanse, when clients enter therapy, they are doing something really hard.  When they open up, tell their stories, and revisit painful emotions from their past, they are doing something really hard.

Self esteem is one of the few positive emotions that do not come from our relationships with others.  It doesn’t come from being loved.  It comes from doing difficult things that are good, for us and/or for others.  Self esteem comes from esteem-able acts.  Esteem-able acts vary, depending on our values and abilities.

Conquering a physical challenge, submitting for treatment to conquer an addiction, learning something new, entering therapy, exiting an unhealthy relationship or job, volunteering, being friendly (if you’re an introvert) or spending time in solitude (if you’re an extrovert) are all self esteem building acts.

I encourage you to think about one difficult thing you can do this week!

 

Related articles

• How to Boost Your Self-Esteem (everydayhealth.com)
• How to Battle Low Self-Esteem (everydayhealth.com)
• Building positive self-esteem in our children (tina7serrano.wordpress.com)
• Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem (everydayhealth.com)
• 8 reasons why you should have high self-esteem (angelashella.net)

The Missing Link: Intutition

Tanya Ruckstuhl-Valenti, Blog Interview

Joyce Anderson, Intuition Trainer, author of Tellaga & Conred, Rescuing Your Talents from Constant Comparing and radio host of Voice America was kind enough to host me on her radio show a couple weeks ago for a fabulous conversation about intuition versus anxiety, as well as be interviewed here. 

After meeting Joyce and being impressed by her cheerful wisdom, I have been relentlessly nagging her to offer the public a workshop on the topic of intuition development.  I’m happy to say she is offering a course on October 19^th and you can learn more about it here:  http://http://conversationswithyourself.com/classes

How did you become interested in the topic of intuition?

1)      As a child I had a sense of knowing about a person I would meet, nothing to do with logic.  Then as I went to school, I learned to focus on learning through the rational brain, five senses, memory, logic and inference, all external.  Well, I wasn’t so good at memory, which affected my grades, that so I learned I wasn’t smart.  My gut told me this wasn’t true, but the grades did not agree.  My intuition guided me as an adult to recapture my intelligence and taught me there was so much more untapped wisdom.  And I was passionate about helping people bring their under-used inner resource to the surface.  For me intuition is the bridge from our inner knowing that signals our body and brain with a wise message and creative idea.

How do people develop their intuition?

2)      People develop their intuition by first being aware of it.  The gut feeling when you shake someone’s hand and feel this person is not a match for you, but your logic talks you out of this feeling by saying this person has a good job, very handsome, polite, etc.  A feeling to take a different route to work, but you don’t listen and you are stuck in traffic.     Once you become aware of these intuitive hits, and you see the wisdom in it, you develop your trust in it.  The next step is to take action from the intuitive hit, just do what it says.  Once you unleash intuition, you will find incredible answers and ideas that just become more and more available.

What do you see as the connection between intuition and mental health?

3)      To me, when you are mentally un-healthy you have learned it is not ok to be you.  You trust the judgment and words of others and past painful events to be more important than you. You have learned to compare yourself to others for self-worth.  To be mentally healthy is to be the opposite.  No one knows what your desire is or what your capability is more than you.  Intuition is your higher voice that knows exactly your desire and where it fits in and gets offered…sort of your own in-house GPS.  You can’t find that anywhere but in your own heart.  Intuition is from this heart wisdom.  To me a good therapist will help you back to trust and use your intuition.

How about the connection between intuition and relationships? 

4)      Intuition is like a Geiger counter in relationships.  It is connected to your best interest and others.  Intuition at the very least lets you know 3 things in your body.   Yes, No or do nothing yet.  When someone approaches you with a suggestion, and your body feels open, energetic, eyes a little more wide, you body ready to go…that is a resounding yes.  When you body feels like concrete, tight and a little stooped forward shoulders, smaller eyes, less energy, that is a NO.  When you are in between yes and no, you’re a bit interested but not in the ‘let’s do it’ mode, it’s time to do nothing, the timing is not right, and your next step is not clear.  Be patient to wait for the Yes or No signal.  When you do what is best for your heart, it is best for your relationship and theirs.

How do you envision your work contributing to the creation of a healthier world?

5)      This is a very simplified answer, but I feel if everyone was true to their unique offerings and talents, they would feel full and share.  They would encourage others to act the same way, room for many ideas and therefore co-create with new solutions that we need for today’s volatile world.  We all have a divine skill to offer, if we ignore this, we get angry and feel less than, resentful, angry, closed off or worst yet ambivalent.  This is the worst use of a human life.  We all have something to offer as unique as our fingerprint, intuition knows this, and it is our purpose.

What do you wish more people knew about developing and using their intuition?

6)      I wish people knew two things about intuition.  The first is you are not going to get told what is going to happen when you take this intuitive step.  It’s always in the present where you can get to it.  And it’s not going to give you the next five steps so you can feel safe and plan.  You have to trust one step at a time. We are not great alone, so our intuitive hits involve the greatness of others and their talents to co-create and help each other.  This is where synchronicity fits in.  You get your next step when it is time to use it and it fits with others.  The second thing I wish people knew is that there is no comparison in the world of our divine skills.  There is no talent better or worse than others, there is no measuring of love or passion.   Just wrap around what you love, and that is enough.

 What do people get from reading your book?  (To my readers: you can find this gem of a book on her website.  I highly recommend it for anyone ages 13 and up struggling with self esteem issues). 

7)      My book, Tellaga & Conred, Rescuing Your Talents from Constant Comparing, is a story on how to recapture and enhance your intuition to ignite and offer your special natural ability.

What will people get from attending your seminar?

8)      The definition of talent is your special natural ability.  I believe this is your personalized fuel for all you do.  Can you say what that is in six words or less?  This Talent Statement Workshop will give you clarity and effectiveness in your work and relationships.  Your talent statement will be your touchstone to:  give you clarity of your purpose; help turn a rote survival job into something purposeful; and offer guidance as you truck through your career and personal life.

Lessons From a Seven Year Old Survivor

Yesterday I took my son Benjamin and two of his school friends to visit their schoolmate Becky, currently hospitalized in Harborview.  Becky accidentally pulled a pot of boiling water down on herself and burned her legs.  Spending time on a pediatric burn unit with four first graders was surprizingly…funny.      

Becky, a bright, confident Ethiopian girl ripped through our bag of presents, returning a 3-D nature magazine evenly with “you can keep this one.  I don’t like it.”  She then held her stuffed animal menagerie aloft one by one and announced to her visitors, “get in a line and you can help me name my stuffed animals.” 

The kids eagerly complied, lining up in fine first-grader formation in front of her hospital bed.  Each proposed a name which Becky considered in a serious manner.  She benevolently adopted almost every suggestion.  They all ate donuts together.   Becky told us about how much she was enjoying the art room in the hospital where she made paintings (Harborview staff:  hit me up for a donation!  This is a brilliant idea). 

Her mother was there when we arrived and stayed the whole time.  Her cousin explained that Becky only eats the hospital food for breakfast, and then her doting family bring her take out or homemade food for lunch and dinner, “whatever she wants.” 

We cannot eliminate tragic situations from happening.  Tragedy involving children is horrifying and I confess I hope to never know from personal experience what it’s like.  But Becky’s situation is an example of making the best of something awful in several ways:  First and foremost she is getting both the medical and emotional care that she needs to heal.  She was surrounded by family, attended to by expert nursing staff, and had had a room verily stuffed with balloons, gifts and flowers:  all evidence of her being loved by others. 

Equally important is the positive attitude that Becky herself brings to the experience.  Her ability to enjoy painting while on a pediatric burn unit is testimony to her chutzpah.  I have no doubt that in the future Becky will show her scars with pride and tell a riveting the story of the day she burned herself.